is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
