i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
