Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
