I'm gonna have a badass scar
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
