Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Congratulations! We have a period
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