U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
