it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
