I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
