Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize