its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
