If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
it hurts more in the daytime
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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