I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I smell stomach acid.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
