He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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