Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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