1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
