I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Oh god it's open bar.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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