you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
