Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
What a dumb baby whore.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
