My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
