I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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