My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
