Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
