I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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