Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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