I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You are the jesus of drinking
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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