How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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