I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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