you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
