I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
