you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Did I show you my penis last night?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
