Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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