OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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