Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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