what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
