i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
