I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
