you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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