This is not my ceiling
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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