Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just found puke in my bra..
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
