So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
