I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
