I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize