no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
