first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
