He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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