Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You've changed since you got that strap on
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
