Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
