I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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