I think my vagina is haunted
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
