No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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