I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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