he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
