You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
