Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
