Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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