Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
false alarm, still single
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