so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
