you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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