I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
