Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize