So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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