How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
