Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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