then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
