i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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