at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
