i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
